


The Reason We Don't Talk

by Alyssa_85



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Kinda, M/M, Missing Scene, S8 spoilers, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love, what really happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 22:51:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17010678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyssa_85/pseuds/Alyssa_85
Summary: Shiro and Keith talk about their fightorThe reason Shiro and Keith barely speak in S8





	The Reason We Don't Talk

**Author's Note:**

> My take on why Shiro and Keith barely spoke in S8 and why Shiro randomly moved to Pidge’s lion on S7. 
> 
> Keith contradicts himself a lot in this, just a heads up that it is on purpose.

They finally had some downtime, Lance, Pidge and Hunk had gone off exploring while Allura and Coran were sitting in blue, still mourning the loss of The Castle of Lions. Keith sat with Kosmo on the Black Lion, looking up at the red and black sky.

“Hey,” Shiro greets, climbing up to join him. “I thought I’d find you here.”

Keith smiles, patting the space beside him. “I’ve always liked looking up at the sky. Calms me. Helps me think.”

“What are you thinking about?” He settles down beside him, leaning back on his hands. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“You can have them for free, Shiro, you know that.” He sighs, running his fingers over Kosmo’s fur. “Do you remember it at all, Shiro?”

Shiro stays silent, eyes drifting slowly over the cloud-like puffs in the sky. Keith knows he does. He can tell by the way Shiro cringes as Keith rubs the scar. He knows he did that. Keith doesn’t push it though, he just continues to pet Kosmo.

“Does it hurt?” Shiro asks, breaking the silence. “The scar I mean.”

“No,” he lies. He doesn’t want Shiro to hurt, he doesn’t want him to think he made him hurt, so he’ll lie. He’ll take that lie to his grave if he has to. “Not at all.”

The way Shiro eyes him Keith knows he doesn’t believe him, but Shiro says nothing, instead turning his eyes back to the sky.

They’re silent again for a while and sensing the air, Kosmo whines, nudging at Keith’s hand before disappearing into nothing.

“I remember it.” Shiro finally says, not looking away from the sky. “All of it. From the second I turned on the others to the very last moment. You almost died, Keith. You could have died.” His voice cracks and Keith wants to reach out for him, but he doesn’t. He keeps his arms by his side, fingers twitching.

“ _We_ almost died. Together.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Keith knows what he’s asking. God, he knows. He knows they had to talk about it at some point, but he wasn’t ready. He just wasn’t.

“You told me you love me, Keith. Did you mean it?”

Keith sits up. He wants to escape, needs to, but Shiro stops him. He looks at him with the eyes that make him melt, the eyes that made him fall in love in the first place. Shiro grabs his arm, stopping him from standing.

“Please, Keith, answer me, did you mean it?”

He’s panicking. His heart pounding in his chest and, God, he can’t look at him. He turns his head to the side, searching over the horizon for something, _anything_ to draw his attention away from the scene playing out in front of him.

He doesn’t realize until it’s too late.

“A-are you crying?”

Keith wipes at his eyes, now angry at himself more than anything.

“Oh, Keith, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you cry…”

“I’m not crying,” he snaps, finally pulling his arm out of Shiro’s grip. “Why did you have to remember that?” He asks, voice soft in defeat. “Why couldn’t you have pretended to forget?”

“So… you meant it?”

Keith nods softly. “I did. I love you, Shiro. I love you.”

Shiro drops his head, looking down at Black, then lifts it to look over the horizon. He’s close to tears himself and Keith has to take a deep breath to calm himself.

“Keith… you know I care about you, right?”

“You don’t have to say anything else, Shiro. I know.” Keith stands up. “I have to go. I think it’s best if you ride with someone else from now on.” Before Shiro can stop him, Keith jets off the lion, landing just in view of Shiro. He looks back at him once, smiling sadly, before disappearing inside of Black.

* * *

 

Shiro’s still on Black when the other three Paladins arrive back. He jets himself down in front of them. “Pidge, can I talk to you?”

She glances at Lance and Hunk, then nods. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Can I ride with you for the rest of the journey?”

She furrows her eyebrows. “Why? What about Keith?”

“We just need some… space.”

Pidge looks concerned, eyes shifting to where Black is standing. “Well, sure, I guess.”

“Thanks.”

* * *

 

Keith had saved him again, but Shiro couldn’t even find it in him to thank him. He just leans his head against Keith’s chest as he holds him there, cradling him softly from the dangers. As soon as Keith had ordered Hunk to get him to safety, Keith ran, not once looking back at him. The last thing Shiro saw before he passed out was Keith’s back, broader than before.

* * *

 

Outside of work, Shiro hadn’t spoken to Keith in months. Hadn’t even visited him in his hospital room after the explosion, how could he? How could he show his face to Keith when he hurt him so badly?

Keith asks about him, or so Lance tells him. The other Paladins don’t know what happened, don’t understand the sudden distance between the once inseparable friends, in fact, Shiro isn’t even really too sure himself why he won’t just go and visit him. Shiro knows that Keith wouldn’t want them to know though, wouldn’t want to sound vulnerable in front of them, so Shiro tells them nothing.

* * *

 

Coran looks between them. “Ah, wait for me!” He shouts after the already escaped Paladins, then turns on his heel and runs.

Keith’s on edge, and Shiro knows it’s not only because of the possible threats. It’s the first time they’d been alone together since the evening on Black. The first time they’d talked where business wasn’t involved.

Shiro smiles. “Keith, relax, go have fun.” What Shiro really wants to say is, ‘let’s spend the day together’ but he can’t. He can’t lead him on. Not again.

Keith tenses. “If we’re not here for protection, then what are we even doing here?” Shiro should have seen it coming. Keith making it about business. They couldn’t talk unless it was business.

Shiro shrugs smile still present. “Moral on the Atlas is low after what happened on Oriande. Who knows, a few hours at the carnival might just give us the boost we need to get back on track.” What Shiro really means is he wants to give Keith a boost. He wants Keith to let loose and have some fun. He wants to see him smile. Before Shiro can say anything else, Keith nods his head and turns in the opposite direction.

* * *

 

As Shiro wins the last arm wrestle before the final, he looks out into the crowd, just hoping to see Keith. He doesn’t. He does see Curtis though, who is cheering and grinning at Shiro. Shiro smiles back, giving him a little wave.

When he wins the final, Keith is there, finally smiling with the rest of them as they hold him up and for a second he feels they might be okay, but the second the excitement is over, the smile drops, and Keith turns his back. Shiro pretends it doesn’t hurt.

* * *

 

He isn’t sure when it starts, but Shiro finds himself falling hard for Curtis. They spend plenty of time together in the Atlas, training and learning from one another, and Shiro falls hard. He hasn’t loved anyone since Adam, so when his heart started to pound in his chest as Curtis pinned him to the ground, Shiro knew what was happening. He just wasn’t expecting the younger man to kiss him as passionately as he does on the hot, sweaty mat.

He also wasn’t expecting Keith to walk in at that very moment. Keith stood in the doorway, bayard in hand, glancing between them.

“I-I’m sorry,” he says, bowing his head before turning on his heel and running. Shiro groans, dropping his head back onto the mat.

“Oops, caught in the act,” Curtis jokes, helping Shiro to his feet. “Don’t think he’ll go running to Sam, right?”

Shiro glances at the door. “Probably not.”

* * *

 

Keith runs to his room, clutching at his chest. He knew one day it’d happen again. Knew eventually he’d get someone new, someone to replace Adam.

He vaguely recognised him as the man who sits to the right of Shiro’s podium but couldn’t think of his name. Not that it matters. Shiro has someone new, someone to love and hold in the way Keith wanted.

It hurt. God, it hurt. More than any of the physical pain. He clutches at his chest, trying hard to stop the painful hammering of his chest. He wants it to stop. He wants everything to stop.

* * *

 

In the midst of the fighting, Keith manages to forget. Manages to put his feelings to the side and work in harmony with Shiro. When their ships merge, when he becomes one with Shiro, both sharing the head, he forgets. Shiro is with him, they fight together like the old times. Two as one.

* * *

 

It takes a war and the loss of someone so special for Shiro and Keith to talk. They hug, comforting each other through the loss of Allura. It’s normal. They don’t talk about work, what’s there to talk about? The war’s over. They won. They survived.

* * *

 

They only see each other a few times throughout the next year, Shiro stays on earth with his new boyfriend, while Keith stays in space, working with the Blade of Marmora to make space a better place. It doesn’t matter though, because they’re friends, and for Keith, that’s good enough, it always was.

* * *

 

Sitting at the table for Allura’s celebration was weird. It was the first time all of the Paladins had been in the same place for a year. They’d all gone their separate ways after the war. To see them all a year later, real smiles on their faces, was the happiest Keith felt in a long time.

“So… I have something to say,” Shiro announces, glancing around the table at his friends. His family. “Curtis and I… we got engaged.”

Keith hears white noise, knees knocking together under the table and heart hurting in his chest. He knew it was coming, he saw how in love they were, that didn’t stop it from hurting though. Didn’t stop him from wanting to cry as they all cheer, congratulating him and patting his back with the happiest smiles. He knew happiness was too good to be true.

“Keith?” Shiro looks at him, earnest and happy. “I want you to be my best man.” And Keith agrees, feigning a smile. Shiro sees through it, he always does, but he says nothing, he never does anymore.

* * *

 

The wedding comes around quicker than Keith would have liked. He sits in Shiro’s hotel room, watching Shiro adjust his tie in the mirror. “Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask a favour?”

Keith shrugs. “Sure.”

He turns to face him. “Smile for me? I miss that.”

He feels his composure break. “I miss you.”

Shiro faulters, eyes never breaking contact with Keith’s. “I’m right here, Keith, isn’t that enough?”

“Enough?” Keith scoffs, screwing his hands up at his side. “We live on different planets, Shiro! You’re not just ‘right here’ are you? You left me! You promised you’d never leave me.” His voice breaks, the same way it did all those years ago when he told Shiro how he felt. “You… you left me.”

Shiro blinks, eyes shifting to the floor. “You chose to go up there, Keith, I chose to stay down here. Our lives are just different now… but I’m still right here.” He points at Keith’s heart. “Because we’re a family, Keith, and no amount of space can take that away from you.”

Keith wipes at the tears in his eyes. “It already has.” He stands. “I can’t be your best man, Shiro, it hurts too much.”

Shiro doesn’t say anything, he just watches Keith walk away, shoulders hunched.

* * *

 

Shiro’s half expecting Keith not to show up at the ceremony, but he does. He’s standing behind Shiro and Curtis as they kiss, arms folded across his chest, frown on his face but Shiro’s happy and in that moment, to Shiro, that’s all that matters.

Keith watches their first kiss, arms folded across his chest. He wants to leave, but standing there, looking up at Allura’s statue, he knew going to the wedding was what was right. Shiro was his friend first and foremost and Shiro was right, they were family. Nothing could take that away from him.

He’s angry and sad, but Shiro isn’t. Shiro has so much love in his eyes and Keith can feel that. Can see it as he and Curtis dance around the well-lit garden.

Keith knows he’ll find his happiness. Somewhere, somehow, but for now, he’s just got to ignore the pain in his chest every time Shiro leans in for another kiss with the man that isn’t him.

* * *

 

Keith will never be happy with the way things turned out. Will never get over the loss of Allura and countless over people who fought alongside them, but most of all will never get over the loss of his best friend as he climbs onto his ship and leaves without a goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Can we all just agree they did Shiro and Keith's friendship so fucking dirty in S8 and that Keith doesn't look happy at all in the wedding scene, like Keith's entire stance is pissed off and isn't it fishy that we can see all the other Paladin's, but we can't see Keith's face through that scene????


End file.
